It was a hot afternoon, and the railway carriage was correspondingly sultry.
I was sitting next to James, all sweaty and hot, a very bad day for a funeral, I thought.
James looked at me, waiting for me to say something, anything, but I couldn´t talk.
Since it wasn´t James first time as a guardian angel he probably wasn´t very surprised from my momentary paralysis.
I thought the ride was going to take forever. It didn´t seem like we were going anywhere; everything looked the same, open green fields with withered flowers in theme. I couldn´t find one that bloomed.
There was no one walking around in the streets, if they are even called that way there.
No lonely old ladies trying to cross the street, no homeless people on the side of the road-nothing, just a long irritating silence. Even the little voices in my head had gone numb.
I couldn´t help wondering how weird this is all going to be; visiting your own funeral, looking at all those people that you love crying, and not being able to do anything but cry yourself.
I´ll stand there listening to how great I was. I´ll stand there watching people I hardly remember talking about me with such great admiration.
People I despise will stand there crying, helpless, broken. What a living hell.
After what seemed to be a few years we arrived. James looked at me again, with his deep meaningful look. I must say it had something frightful in it.
I opened the door of the carriage and got out slowly.
I waited for James and then followed him to what I believe was my grave.
I looked at myself lying inside one of those coffins, motionless.
It took me a few minutes to start wondering where everybody is; there was no one there.
I thought we were early, I wanted to think we were early-but we were right on time.
After a few minutes a few people I don´t even know said a few blessing words and the threw me in the hole, like I was nothing, dirt, a broken doll that is over used and must be thrown away.
They had left a minute after that and I was alone again, with this endless silence.
Then it suddenly hit me. I was dead, gone forever. I left this world and no one came to say goodbye. I didn´t make any difference to anyone, I didn´t change anything, I was just a rotten body now. There was no one crying over me.
A little girl with a black dress and long dark hair came and looked at my new home, She stared a while at the cold gray stone that had my name on it and than, she placed a red rose next to it. It was at that moment when I started to cry.