I am going to quit smoking. I'm stepping into the year 2007, without having to say, "Hi, I'm an addict". Whenever I am craving for a cigarette, I'll do push ups, sit ups, squads and any other exercise I am familiar with. The amount will depend on how many times I needed that cigarette that day. The number of push ups will increase according to the Fibonacci series. First time, I'll do one… second time I'll do two… third time three… forth time 5… etc. When I feel like I can’t do anymore push ups, I'll switch to the other exercise.

I want to smoke when I am hungry, after I ate, after I drank alcohol, after sex, when I am bored, when I am really into something, when I am developing a thought in my mind, when I am writing, when I am upset, when I am nervous and tense, when someone smokes near me.

I want to smoke all the time. I want to smoke every minute that I am not smoking, because when I'm not smoking, I'm concentrated on all that I have written above, and cigarettes distract me and help me relax.

Do they really help me relax, or do they make me nervous in the first place? Are they both Chimera and Balerophon, the disease and the cure? 

Yes they are. I've seen countless smokers, freak out when they realize that they can't smoke. They forget about everything, and concentrate on one thing, getting their nicotine fix. They become agitated, loud, and very unpleasant. I am one of them.

Every time I tried to quit, I managed to hold myself for a period of time. I quit because after a period of time, during which you smoke a pack a day, I started feeling like shit. But after a while, my lungs cleaned themselves from the filth the cigarettes filled them with, and I couldn't remember the disgusting feeling that made me quit.

I couldn't remember waking up in the morning, with that horrible taste in my mouth, a taste I had because I smoked the night before. I couldn’t remember the frustration of running up the stairs and having to stop and catch my breath. Even with the shape the army has gotten me into, I have always known that if I quit smoking, I'll get much better. Every time we had to run for a few miles, I was cursing at the cigarettes under my breath. Yet, at the end of every run, I smoked the cigarette of satisfaction with my friends, feeling all that exercise going down the drain.

Smoking sucks. But if I quit smoking, I gain weight. Smoking has change something in my brain. When I need to smoke, I feel hungry for something. If I deny myself the cigarette, I feel obligated to satisfy that need, and I eat.

I need to replace smoking with something else but food. I'll try gum and exercise. I can’t eat more. I don't want to gain weight. I want to get into better shape. Food is not allowed. I've tried to quit smoking so many times, I know all the symptoms, I am familiar with the cravings. I can stop myself. I can fight this…

I've stopped smoking before. I could last a few days, a weak, even a month, but once I've taken that one cigarette, eventually, I went to the store and bought a pack. After the pack was gone I bought a carton. And all that suffering of trying to quit, was for nothing. I was an addict again.

No more.  Not one cigarette. No matter what. I'm throwing out the rest of my carton. I am done.

Smoking is an addiction. Being addicted, means that you can’t stop. You loose control. You are weak. Addiction is weakness. Smoking is nothing but a weakness. I am strong enough to overpower myself. I am perfectly capable of regaining control. I am no longer weak. I am no longer an addict.